Preparations and things I need/want to do........

....I am currently preparing/needing/wanting to do a lot of things. First off, I have my first official "job" as a photographer this Saturday!!! I am so stinking stressed/nervous/freaking out!!!!!!!!!! I can not believe that this is actually about to happen and I can only hope that my skills shine through. I am really hoping that I will be able to get over my initial shyness that I have when I first meet people and get in the groove of capturing their special day. And yes, I have not met these people, but I did Facebook stalk them so I at least know what they look like! :D

The next thing I am preparing for is that with me doing this job I will be leaving Kameron for a while with my sister (I told Freddie that he will be going with me to the wedding as my "assistant"). I have no idea how long I will be gone and my milk supply in the freezer is SUPER low, so I am doing extra duty in front of the ever aggravating breast pump. :/ Hate doing it, but if I can at all help it, my baby isn't going to have any formula!!

Number Three on the list....we are having Christmas morning at our house where I will be making breakfast for everyone and Kameron will be opening her presents. This means my house needs an extra heavy duty cleaning between now and then!!! In case you don't know, I totally hate cleaning. I despise it with every fiber of my being. If I can put it off, I will, even though I hate a messy house. I just need some cleaning fairies to come to my house at night so that I don't have to worry about it.

Number Four....get back in shape!!! I had absolutely no problem losing my baby weight. Two weeks later and I was back to the weight I was when I found out I was prego. Yay me!!! However, somehow I put 10 of those pounds back on. Surely it can't be this crazy craving I've had for chocolate lately?!?! And no I'm not pregnant again, I checked just to be sure. ;) So, I have got to get my butt on the treadmill and on the the dreaded exercise ball. I also need to figure out a diet that I can do while breastfeeding. One that doesn't require you to not eat and one that won't give Kameron gas. Because the last thing I need is a gassy baby!

Number Five...spend more quality time with Freddie. That may sound easy, but believe me it isn't. Between taking care of Kam, working some, cleaning house, cooking supper....I barely have time for myself let alone Freddie. Sheesh, some days I am so tired I can't see straight or have a coherent conversation. So, I hope to be able to spend more time with him and not just sitting in front of the television.

Number six....learn to love myself. This is something I have tried to work on for years. No matter how skinny I am or how fit I am, I have always felt that I/my body wasn't good enough. And since having Kameron my self esteem has really went downhill. If you have ever had a baby you understand where I am coming from. Things move to places where they weren't before, your skin stretches and pulls so you get stretch marks (unless you're one of the lucky ones who doesn't get them), your skin breaks out, your hair falls out....the list goes on. Everyday I struggle to look past the way my body looks and to remember why it looks the way it does. My body bears the reminder that I created life (with Freddie's help), and I carried that life inside of me for 39 weeks and 3 days with the majority of my weight out front. So yeah, I have stretch marks and a little extra jiggle, but I also have the most beautiful baby to show for it. Oh, how I love that child. :)

So, there you go....these are the things I hope to be able to achieve over the next few days/weeks/months. Until next time..............