Welcome!!!

I am so glad that you have made it to my blog. My name is Rian, and I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 11 years. We welcomed our first child, a beautiful baby girl, in April 2009. In March 2011, we sadly lost our second child to a miscarriage at 10 weeks pregnant. Our son was born in March 2012. This is my blog....the journey through my life with the people that I love.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Before I was a Mom***

Before I was a Mom, I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom, I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom, I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom, I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much.

Before I was a Mom, I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom, I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

***Disclaimer: I did not write this but I received it in an email. I thought it accurately put in to words the feelings I have being a mother. There is truly nothing greater!

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