My Fourth Mother's Day~The Power of being a Parent

Today (well yesterday once this is posted) I celebrated my fourth Mother's Day. It was a not so great day, but that is how some things go being a mother. I was sleep deprived (running on 4 hours of broken up sleep), the kids were grumpy, had gotten up early, and poor Landon was miserable with getting 4 molars. I finally made it to church after many, many months of not being able to go. Landon wouldn't go in the nursery, which I figured he wouldn't. So he stayed with me and my parents in the sanctuary, for the most part he did just fine. For a bit, Mom took him out into the foyer so I was allowed to just focus on the sermon. Well......I have to admit.....I fell asleep in church! Oh my gosh y'all!! Here I am almost 30 and fell asleep in church. Apparently being so tired and then sitting still was not a good combination at all. What the sermon had to say was great, but my tiredness overtook me. :-/

After church my sister, our kids, and our mom went out to lunch. It was wonderful. The food was delicious and Landon ate everything! The boy had mushrooms (yuck!), olives (double yuck!), feta cheese (YUM), chicken, cucumbers, and..........tofu!! He ate tofu like he had eaten it his entire life! lol.

After lunch we returned to my parents house so that mom could open up her presents and we could spend more time together. After presents, the kids played outside, and all was merry until it was time to go. Kameron threw a fit. At that moment I had a choice of being the bigger person and not letting her mood affect me. Did I choose the high road? Nah....that's not how I roll apparently. I let her bad mood affect my mood, and from there my day unraveled.

After we finally got home I continued to be in a foul mood. Kameron wasn't much better, I could barely keep my eyes open, Landon was constantly whining and pulling on my legs. I wanted to escape them, but I couldn't; not even to go to the bathroom! Believe me, I tried! They just followed me bad attitudes, whining and all.

This is where the mom I want to be and the mom I don't want to be collide. I try so hard to be calm and patient (this is not my nature). I try to understand that they are 1 and 4 and have no idea that they are driving me bonkers (or do they?!). I too often lose my cool and when I lose my cool, everything changes, including my children.

This is where the power of being a parent comes into play. As a parent, you have control. Yes, I know sometimes it seems your children have control, especially in the needy infant stage. But you have the ultimate control of your child. How you approach them, how you love them, how you treat them, how you and your attitude is will control your child. I can choose to be grumpy, and what do you think will happen? My children will mirror my attitude and be grumpy. I can choose to be loving, talk in a kind manner, and play with them, and what do you think will happen? My children will in turn be kind, loving, and playful.

So as a parent, I have to be careful of how I use my power with my children. Do I want them to grow up to be angry, depressed, defiant people? No, I don't. I want them to grow up to be loving, kind, patient, open, and strong. So in order for them to grow up that way I have to instill it in them daily. But do I always succeed at this? No, I do not. I often times fall short, but that is okay. That is part of being a human and a mom. You make mistakes, we all do. But how you react to those mistakes is what defines you.

Today I could have stayed in my downtrodden, depressed state after my day unraveled. And I have to admit that I stayed there for a good 3-4 hours as I felt the darkness of my state of mind pulling me in. But I eventually said, screw this, I am taking control. So, instead of using my power to harm my children, I used it to love my children. I played ball with Kameron and laughed hysterically with her as she pelted me in the head, and then ran to hide from my incoming arsenal of squishy footballs. I turned on Angelina Ballerina and laughed at Landon dancing to the theme song, and sand along with Kameron. I then used my utmost power as a mom and put them to bed! hahaha.

Everyday as a parent wont' be perfect, but every imperfect moment you experience you can use to learn from. I have come so far from the parent I was just a month ago, but I know that I can always improve. With each day that passes, I come closer to being the type of mom I want to be. And yes I will have setbacks like I did today, but those setbacks help me to learn more about me and my children.