A little piece of my heart

A little piece of my heart broke yesterday. See...it has come that time to completely wean Kameron. Why you ask. Well, a week ago I had a really bad migraine. I've had them since I was a little girl and they typically only require some Ibuprofen, darkness, quiet and time for them to go away. Well last Friday my migraine was bad, so bad I passed out. Not fun. So, I went to the doctor on Monday and had a bunch of tests done, and I still have more to go through. But he said that he would like to put me on a preventative medicine that I take every day, but in order to do that I can not be nursing at all. So begins my heart breaking.....

Tuesday: Everything went great. I gave Kameron her bath, and when she asked for "boop boop", I just distracted her, gave her a snack, brushed her teeth and she went to bed, no problem.

Wednesday: She didn't even ask for it. Oh, I felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest. How could she forget it so quickly? Something she has had for almost 18 months, and like that she just doesn't care?! I cried, I didn't sob, but tears ran down my face. My "baby" is not a baby any more, when did this happen?

Thursday: She didn't ask again. There goes another piece of my heart. But as soon I laid her down she started crying. I figured I will let her cry for a bit and she will go to sleep. Nah...that didn't happen. So, I picked her up to rock her and she points to my chest and says "boop boop?", I say "I'm sorry, sweetie, but you can't have it." She starts sobbing......my heart rips apart. After almost 2 hours of rocking, singing and eventually laying down with her she went to sleep.

I foresee this journey not being so fun, and a little piece of my heart breaking every day. I pray it won't be as bad as it has been. I pray that I can make it through this with my sanity. I will truly miss me and her having our special time. I never thought I would nurse her for this long, I actually had originally planned to only do it for 6 months or so. I was baffled by women that nursed their children 20 months, 2 years and so forth. Now I see why, it is truly a bonding experience with your child like no other. I will miss her being my lil boobie baby! =' )