Lil Ladybug

I know it's been almost 3 weeks since Halloween, and I am just now posting a picture. But I've been kind of busy. I have been trying to potty train Kameron; it's very time consuming, so yeah most of my time has been occupied with that here lately.


So, as you can see, Kameron was a ladybug for Halloween! She was so stinking cute!!! Unfortunately she was sick; so she didn't get to go trick-or-treating, but I did take her to go see my parents. I got there and dressed her up; whipped out my camera to take tons of pictures, got 3 taken and my camera died!!!!!!!!!!! Thus the reason you only see one picture in this post. I did take some pictures with my mom's camera, but I haven't bugged her to send them to me.....yet!


Kameron had so much fun prancing around in her outfit, eating "chocoley" and hanging out with my parents. In all the night was a success except we didn't have any trick-or-treaters; but that's alright, it left more candy for us!!! ;-)

Do you ever....

Do you ever have a moment that completely takes your breath away? I do....every day I have a moment or moments like this. Most often it is when I go to check on Kameron right before I go to bed. I slowly open her door and the hinge squeaks because we keep forgetting to put WD-40 on it. Then as quietly as possible, I walk to her crib to look at her. As I peer over the edge of the crib and look at her sleeping, an invisible hand squeezes my heart and I lose my breath. 


She is so utterly beautiful and peaceful when she is sleeping. Her little hands tucked under her chin, her breath coming out in snores from her little mouth. My heart fills with love as I look at her.Then I cover her up and leave her room with a smile on my face.


Other times that take my breath away are when I am just browsing Facebook and up pops her picture in the side bar. I can't help but click it and marvel at how pretty my baby is, and how blessed I am.


See how pretty....

It seems that most of my "blogs" are about my child. After all the my blog website is "kameronsmommy". I can't help it, she is after all pretty much my life. She is my world, she is my life, she has made me who I am today. I may not be perfect, but I am a heck of a lot a better person than I use to be. She is the reason behind it. She makes me want to better myself. She is my driving force when I think I can't do something. Her little unexpected hugs and kisses make everything a little bit easier and put things into perspective. I may be stressed, my life may not be where I want it to be right now, but I have my family and I have my daughter. As long as I have that then I am rich. I may only be rich in love, but I am rich and that's all that matters to me. I can't thank God enough for the blessings He has given me and my family. And I as I go through my journey, I leave everything in His hands. He knows what is best for me and my family.


"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13


I am not a bible thumbing, preaching from my soap box kind of person. But I am a Christian; therefore, my hope remains in Jesus. He knows my heart and He knows what lies ahead for me. He is my provider and I trust in Him completely.

In the Morning

It's early in the morning. The time when the sun starts to rise and light up the sky. The house is still wrapped in the light darkness of dawn. I hear my little girl crying in her room. I stumble out the bed and shuffle my feet into her room.

She stands up and holds her hands out for me to pick her up. I pick her up and she snuggles into my neck, I tote her to my room where we crawl back into bed.

We lay there side by side in the darkness with her little arm wrapped around my neck and her breath warm on my cheek. She sits up and kisses me, I return the kiss and she lays back down. I slowly rub her back till she dozes back to sleep. Instead of returning to my slumber I lay there with her in my arms, rubbing her back and breathing in her sweet smell. I treasure the way she feels snuggled in next to my side, and the way she fills up my arms. I treasure this special time in the early morning when she is still and I can snuggle as much as I want. Moments like these are few and far between.

Even though I am up way earlier than I would like, I still treasure it. If I did not have my sweet little girl I could sleep in all I like, but my arms would be empty. Instead I am up early with her snuggled in my bed. I wouldn't trade this moment for anything in the world. I am truly blessed!

A Perfect Night

With my music turned up, the wind tousles my hair as it whips through the windows of my truck. The temperature is a perfect 74 degrees and so begins my perfect night. As I navigate the roads to my parents house and pass White Knoll High School the sounds of a drum line warming up reach my truck, and with that noise I am transported back to my high school days. I am woken up from my daydream as a little voice says, "see kitty, doggies!!! woof!!", she is watching Milo & Otis in the back seat and I smile as I respond "Yes, I see that kitty. Isn't he pretty?" "awwwww....cute!" she says. And so goes our conversation as we travel the road over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house we go, or in this case to Noni's house we go. As we pull into my parent's subdivision her face lights up, she knows where we are. 

Once we get to my parent's house we all sit outside enjoying the crisp air as it blows across our skin. The sight of her swinging with her Granddaddy and Noni is a sight I will never forget. Granddaddy shows her how to throw the ball for the dogs and she giggles as she throws it a mere foot in front of her. As the night gets cooler and her nose begins to turn pink, we decide to head inside.

Once inside we enjoy a wonderful meal of rigatoni and sauce. Kameron devours it and makes us all laugh at her antics. As we leave she clings to her Noni because she doesn't want to go home. Finally she goes to her Granddaddy who loads her up in her carseat. And again we are winding the roads, but this time we are heading to our house. "see kitty, doggies!!! woof!!" 

In the Silence

The creak, groan and pop of my recliner rocking fills my ears as I rock my baby to sleep. She is growing heavy in my arms and begins to breathe deeply. I think she is finally asleep. As I go to stand up she says, "rock! fa fa fa!", she is not asleep. So, I sit back down and again the creak, groan, pop of the recliner fill up the empty silence in my living room.

A little voice says "fa fa fa", and I began to sing one of her favorite songs "a, b, c, d, e, f, g...."

The night is dark in the early hours of 3am and most of the world is asleep, but I am not. I am rocking and singing to my baby in my once silent living room.

Creak, groan, pop.....a,b,c,d,e,f,g.... She snuggles in closer and begins to rub my shirt between her thumb and forefinger. Her eyes are growing heavier and heavier. Finally they close and she lets out a long sigh. I think that she is really asleep this time, but just for good measure I rock and sing to her for a little longer.

Creak, groan, pop....,a,b,c,d,e,f,g.....

A little piece of my heart

A little piece of my heart broke yesterday. See...it has come that time to completely wean Kameron. Why you ask. Well, a week ago I had a really bad migraine. I've had them since I was a little girl and they typically only require some Ibuprofen, darkness, quiet and time for them to go away. Well last Friday my migraine was bad, so bad I passed out. Not fun. So, I went to the doctor on Monday and had a bunch of tests done, and I still have more to go through. But he said that he would like to put me on a preventative medicine that I take every day, but in order to do that I can not be nursing at all. So begins my heart breaking.....

Tuesday: Everything went great. I gave Kameron her bath, and when she asked for "boop boop", I just distracted her, gave her a snack, brushed her teeth and she went to bed, no problem.

Wednesday: She didn't even ask for it. Oh, I felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest. How could she forget it so quickly? Something she has had for almost 18 months, and like that she just doesn't care?! I cried, I didn't sob, but tears ran down my face. My "baby" is not a baby any more, when did this happen?

Thursday: She didn't ask again. There goes another piece of my heart. But as soon I laid her down she started crying. I figured I will let her cry for a bit and she will go to sleep. Nah...that didn't happen. So, I picked her up to rock her and she points to my chest and says "boop boop?", I say "I'm sorry, sweetie, but you can't have it." She starts sobbing......my heart rips apart. After almost 2 hours of rocking, singing and eventually laying down with her she went to sleep.

I foresee this journey not being so fun, and a little piece of my heart breaking every day. I pray it won't be as bad as it has been. I pray that I can make it through this with my sanity. I will truly miss me and her having our special time. I never thought I would nurse her for this long, I actually had originally planned to only do it for 6 months or so. I was baffled by women that nursed their children 20 months, 2 years and so forth. Now I see why, it is truly a bonding experience with your child like no other. I will miss her being my lil boobie baby! =' )

The little moments

Life more often that not overwhelms me. Whether it's the good times or the bad times, I still find myself over taken by it. Since having Kameron my life has changed tremendously. The life I knew is no longer. I no longer work full time, I no longer can just chill out and watch T.V., I no longer have a lot of me time. Do I regret it? No way whatsoever!!! When you become a parent you quickly realize that your life is no longer about you. It's not about what you want or need, it is now about what your child needs or wants. And if you still live your life like you don't have children when you do in fact have them, I think that it's just you being selfish (I'm just saying). When you become a parent you have to learn to become selfless. Do I still become overwhelmed with my new responsibilities? Yes, almost every day, I at some point become overwhelmed. In those moments I try to reflect on the little moments that make all of it worth it.

• When she looks at me and smiles
• When she hugs my neck and gives me a kiss
• When she calls my name (even if it's for the umpteenth time), "Mooooooommmma!"
• When she tells me "nite nite" and grabs her pillow and pulls it behind her to her room when it's time for her nap
• When she asks for "datdog" every morning when she wakes up because she wants to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
• When she learns a new word or words everyday (yesterday was apple)
• When she says "mmmmmm, good" whenever something tastes good
• When she says "ahoo" whenever she sees a football game on T.V.
• When she sits still for a little bit so I can snuggle with her

There are so many things I could list. I love that little girl more that I have ever loved anything. Every time I see her it's like the first time I met her. My heart fills up with such joy, to the point it fills like it could burst. She is my world, and I wouldn't change a thing!

My heart, my world, my daughter